Negativity is Not Welcome Here!


A few years ago my youngest daughter faced a devastating disease. Her diagnosis was dire and each day she literally fought for her life. Being a strong believer in the work of Louise Hay and her book Heal Your Life, I pulled out all the stops in keeping her room as full of positive reinforcements as I could. Her sisters and I created affirmation posters for her that said ” I am healed in all directions of time and space.”  We kept in mind that when you are creating an affirmation you always do it in the present tense and make a statement of fact. Even though it may not be your reality at the present moment you get to the feeling place that it is. The belief being that this positive energy will attract the outcome that you are looking for. We also posted pictures of her doing the things she loved and some of the places she had traveled to. One obstacle I encountered in all this was some of the doctors that insisted on coming in and being full of worse case scenarios.  One such doctor literally made me cringe each time he came into the room. One day we had gotten some really good news. The medications were working and my daughter was improving. Dr. Negative came into the room and said “This is good news but..” I stopped him right there. I said there will be no “buts” today. With that I asked to talk to him outside the room. I explained that I felt his negative comments adversely impacted my daughter’s healing progress. If he insisted on his information being delivered “realistically” I asked that he step out of the room and deliver it to me or my husband. I was proud of myself for stepping into my power and speaking my truth. I almost felt the room release a sigh of relief knowing it could continue to assist us with working on her healing.
What brought all this to mind was a Facebook post of one of my friends in a similar situation. Her husband was in ICU showing significant progress and a doctor who felt he had to be “realistic” gave some of his less than positive comments. My friend’s husband immediately felt deflated and began to be concerned. All the positive information he had been given that day was washed away by this doctor who showed lack of compassion in how he delivered his information.
I think there are a few take aways from all this. First of all in any health challenge situation you are in charge of your well being. Or you family members if need be. They can express their feelings to the doctor and have those feelings respected. When you or someone you know is in a healing situation remember the importance of positive vibrations and how this can be as effective as medicine in treating what ails you. Create affirmations and when you are sending prayers to these people always remember to visualize them perfectly healthy, whole and complete. Many of our health facilities are starting to realize the importance of the mind, body, spirit connection. You are your best advocate and remember if any health care provider is not aware of keeping things positive feel free to remind him or her..Negativity is Not Welcome Here!

The Night Shift
On Tuesday, August 16th at 7:00 PM Eastern time I will discuss affirmation creation and the power of positive prayer on The Night Shift. I also will be doing mini readings with questions from the chat room
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Anger and the 2 “F” Words

No, I’m not speaking about that “F” word. I’m going to address two different words beginning with the letter “f” and how they influence the decisions we make, our responses in any given situation, and how the outcome adds to or subtracts from our happiness and/or contributes to our anger. Those two words are “feelings” and “facts”. Let me explain.

We typically make decisions in life based on how we’re feeling* in regard to a person or set of circumstances. The other option we utilize are making fact-based choices. Here’s an example: I’m offered an exciting new job with a start-up company. I’ll be given a beautiful office, an impressive title, and a substantial increase in salary. I’m super excited and jump on the opportunity. Two months later, I’m unhappy and having second thoughts. “It’s not exactly what I had wanted to do and the hours are very long.” Although the person hiring me fully explained all of this prior to my acceptance, I was excited and hopeful and made a “feelings-based” decision rather than one based on actual facts. Allowing my feelings to override the reality of what the job entailed, I now find myself angry in my new set of circumstances.

Here’s another example: statistics prove that skateboarding leads to thousands of accidents a year, but feeling confident that I’m still young enough to master this adolescent sport, I set forth to prove my agility and bravery. However, I soon find myself livid and remorseful as I hobble into the emergency room an hour later with a broken ankle. And to make matters worse, I now have to cancel my skiing trip to Aspen.
Feelings are a critical component in any decision-making process. However, it is imperative to consider all of the facts involved as well. We needn’t make choices based merely on one or the other. By considering both aspects – the facts as well as the emotions – we are more likely to make sound decisions that are valid for years to come.

Facts can also influence feelings if we allow them to. In the case of this year’s presidential election, many people have already chosen the candidate they are going to vote for. Negative issues about their candidate do not persuade them to reconsider their choice. By either ignoring or excusing factual based information, they are able to maintain their enthusiasm and support of said individual. However, one’s denial does not change truth nor influence it in any way and eventually actuality emerges victorious. At some point, those who choose a candidate purely based on their emotional connection to them may eventually realize disillusionment as the consequences of such a decision concerning their candidate’s suspicious history, lack of trustworthiness, abhorrent actions, and so forth become a reality.

However, we can use facts to change how we feel. For example: you meet the man/woman of your dreams. Feelings between you are intense but red flags regarding their history of cheating, abuse, drunk driving, or such give you pause to rethink your choice to continue seeing them. Since one’s feelings are determined by their thoughts, what we say to ourselves about said truths ultimately determine how we feel. And feelings are the catalyst behind every choice we make. Through careful examination of the truths surrounding them, one can learn to be more objective in their assessment. When you change your internal dialogue – your thoughts – you ultimately determine how you feel. You can persuade yourself to consider your safety and the long-term impact this relationship could have on you. A change of heart directs you to end the relationship thus securing feelings of confidence and comfort that you make the right choice, which in turn thwarts off feelings of anger and any future remorse.

In certain circumstances it’s imperative to make decisions based on a rational thought process rather than one’s emotion. Choices that do not produce the end result we are seeking ultimately lead us to become frustrated, disappointed, hopeless, embarrassed or angry. To avoid making regrettable decisions, rely more heavily on actual concrete proof than pure emotion. The end result will be one that is satisfying, beneficial, and long-lasting. For the really critical decisions in life, it might be best to rely on facts because feelings can easily confuse us by clouding our rational thought process. Other times it could be the exact opposite. There is no hard-and-fast rule so use your best judgment. But never ever ignore the facts. They are your truth.

When making decisions in life, choose wisely. Once made, they can have long-term and far-reaching consequences not initially apparent. And every choice you make impacts not only yourself but the lives of those around you. Therefore, take great care in doing so.

*See T~E~C~O Magic in The Secret Side of Anger
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You Can’t Ruin My Day

Have you ever gotten out of bed in the morning declaring that today was going to be a great day? And before your first cup of coffee, something happened that completely ruined everything? Perhaps your child woke up sick or the car wouldn’t start or your boss calls you to let you know that you’ll be staying late tonight to finish a very important project. The day is less than an hour old and already it’s ruined. Or is it? We are quick to relinquish our happiness to the attitude or actions of another person or to the less than ideal circumstances that unexpectedly appear in our life. But since we cannot always control our circumstances or other people, we can at least prevent them from ruining our day.
First and foremost, remind yourself that your happiness is not dependent on who you are with, what they are saying or doing, or what is occurring. Your happiness is the sole result of your thought process. If your coworker is in a bad mood, you can become angry and frustrated with him based on what you say to yourself about his behaviors. “Jim’s always complaining about something. I can’t stand being around him.” Like a cold or flu, attitudes are contagious but those with a strong immune system can avoid becoming infected. Those with a strong mindset who are determined to stay positive can maintain their good spirits in spite of those around them. It takes practice but keeping your thoughts positive protects you from emotional misery.

It’s also important to pay close attention to the expectations we have of others. In this highly controversial year of a presidential election, emotions run wild. A conservative who is discussing their personal choice with a liberal may become agitated when their opponent fails to see the logic behind their choice. What began as two friends enjoying lunch together deteriorates into an angry confrontation because each party fully expected that they could sway the other to ally with them. A willingness to allow people to disagree with you and to permit situations to be what they are without the need to force anything to comply with your way enables you to maintain your serenity rather than succumb to anger and frustration.
I spent fifteen years working at a battered women’s shelter with a clientele that loved drama. The women would easily be pulled into the chaos others would create. My suggestion to simply disengage, to walk away if necessary, was difficult for many to follow. The temptation to become involved was overwhelming and more often than not they fell prey to the stress of the situation. In time, some learned that if they wanted to maintain their happiness, they needed to avoid outside drama.

An obscure antidote to misery is gratitude. In the event you feel your happiness and serenity slipping away, a quick reminder of what you have to be grateful for can thwart off any potential misery. Since the brain can only entertain one emotion at a time, focusing on what you appreciate in life enables you to secure a joyful outlook on life.

Set your intention: just as one arises each morning with a list of things to accomplish and a plan of how to do that, it’s critical to create your “emotional intention” as well. That is, decide how you want to feel for the next twenty-four hours and follow through by making consistent choices throughout the day that support that. For instance, if I decide that today is going to be a wonderful day, then even if I’m stuck in traffic, I keep my mind centered on how fortunate I am to have a job, that when I get home at the end of the day, my family and/or dog will be there waiting for me, or that I’ll have time to work out. I consistently choose the mindset and behaviors that support my original intention.

You and you alone create your internal environment, that is, your happiness or misery. No one has the ability to ruin your day without your permission. Don’t put your bliss in someone elses hands. Maintain your personal power and choose happiness and joy regardless of what’s occurring. You are the author of your own life so make your story a great one.

A special thanks to my guest, Allen Klein, author “You Can’t Ruin My Day”
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