One Key Eliminates Fighting Forever

Conflict and fighting are not synonymous. Although they very often go hand-in-hand, disagreements need not end up as arguments, fights, or physical altercations. A conflict is simply two forces in opposition: a husband and wife disagree on where to spend their vacation; you support the Republican party, your friend is a staunch Democrat; best friends listen to radically different music. Conflict can actually be a very positive force in our lives as it introduces us to new ideas, new possibilities, and the opportunity to learn and expand our world. Fighting, on the other hand, is based on hostility and struggle to obtain what is desired.

Yet many people would gladly have a root canal rather than address a conflict. There are yes- men, people-pleasers, and the peace-keepers, all of whom seek to maintain the status quo as opposed to upsetting anyone or anything. An undeniable aspect of life, resolving our differences is something few of us were properly taught how to do. As children, very often the larger or more aggressive child would win the dispute, leaving the other one feeling defeated and resentful. Some grow into adulthood learning to cower to the stronger one, others become defensive and prepare to fight for their individual rights. Either way, we approach conflict with great trepidation and angst, anticipating the worst.

The key to resolving conflict is never by using avoidance techniques. An uncomfortable reaction to conflict is the result of the internal issues we have not yet resolved that are being triggered by the event. Here’s an example: if my experiences in life have led me to feel unimportant, if I have felt as though no one really cares about me or how I feel, then when my husband tells me he wants to go out for MacDonald’s (knowing that I would much prefer Chinese food) my insecurities are triggered and I become defensive. At that moment, I experience him not as my loving partner but rather my opposition. I am prepared to argue and fight in order to be treated fairly.

Emotions act as messengers – they alert us to those troublesome issues we need to address and heal within us. Once I acknowledge that his behavior is actually triggering my own insecurities, I can begin the process of strengthening my self-worth. Feeling strong and self-assured in my own skin allows me to debate our disagreement calmly and confidently, finding a mutually satisfactory resolution. Resorting to fighting or aggressive tactics is completely unnecessary because no painful buttons are being pushed.

Conflict is an ever-present part of our lives but it needn’t escalate into a battle. They key to eliminating fighting lies within me. When I heal my internal issues, disagreements are discussed and resolved with relative ease.

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Do you ever feel puffy all over?  Are you wondering why even when you give up sugar you can’t seem to lose the pounds you are tired of carrying around? Are you looking for some simple answers to slimming down and feeling great?  The authors of The Secret to Skinny, the Nutrition Twins, will reveal what they discovered, the S word truth to trimming fat from your figure while growing healthier. Co-Host,  Nutrition Babes, Lauren Harris-Pincus, RD will join me in welcoming Tammy Lakatos Shames RD and her identical twin sister Lyssie Lakatos RD who you may know from their many television and magazine appearances. You’ll be infected by their passion for bettering the way you feel inside as they change the way you look on the outside!

Come into our Family Food Experts Kitchen to kick the S word habit, The Secret to Skinny from the Nutrition Twins.  Recipes, too!  Sunday, Sept. 26th, 1pm ET, on

… for the health of your family,

If you miss the live show, tune in on Sunday, 1pm ET,

Notice:  We are all at a Natural Products Conference so we chose this is a popular show to replay.  We will be live next week!

January Jones welcomes back Bernie Siegel with more “Love, Magic and Mudpies”!

January Jones welcomes back Bernie Siegel with

               more “Love, Magic and Mudpies”!


Love Is The Main Ingredients

R Ur Kids ugly Ducklings?

About Bernie Siegel


For many, Dr. Bernard Siegel—or Bernie, as he prefers to be called—needs no introduction. He has touched many lives all over the Planet. In 1978, he reached a national and then international audience when he began talking about patient empowerment and the choice to live fully and die in peace. As a physician who has cared for and counseled innumerable people whose mortality has been threatened by illness, Bernie embraces a philosophy of living and dying that stands at the forefront of the medical ethics and spiritual issues our Society grapples with today. In May 2011, Bernie was honored by the Watkins Review of London, England, as one of the Top 20 Spiritually Influential Living People on the Planet. He continues to break new ground in the field of healing, supporting changes in medical education to “humanize” medical practice.

Bernie was born in Brooklyn, NY, and attended Colgate University and Cornell University Medical College. He graduated with honors and holds membership in two scholastic honor societies, Phi Beta Kappa and Alpha Omega Alpha. He trained to become a surgeon at Yale New Haven Hospital, West Haven Veteran’s Hospital and the Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. In 1989, Bernie retired from Yale as an Assistant Clinical Professor of General and Pediatric Surgery to speak to patients, their families and caregivers.

In his latest book, his 12th, published in September 2011, entitled A BOOK OF MIRACLES—Inspiring True Stories of Healing, Gratitude, and Love, Bernie is described in the Foreword written by Deepak Chopra who tells us “Bernie Siegel began his writing career twenty-five years ago, and from the outset he didn’t shy away from miracles. The title of his first book—LOVE, MEDICINE & MIRACLES (1986)—flaunted his disagreement with mainstream medicine. An MD who advised more love as a path to healing would have been in enough trouble. Opening the possibility of miracles was grounds for dismissal. In his new book, Bernie reaffirms his original beliefs, and with a lifetime’s wisdom and experience, he trusts in miracles more than ever.”

Bernie’s writings in the 12 books he has published so far reflect his passion to reach people struggling with all of life’s challenges—not just the physical ones—so that each person can live life fully with the understanding that, as Bernie reminds us, “We only have today.” Believing that we are all here to love one another, Bernie has crafted eternal truths and the timeless wisdom of the ages into his reflections on the true stories of his patients in much of his work. But he has also produced wonderful resources for everyone like 365 Prescriptions for the Soul (Daily Messages of Inspiration, Hope, and Love), and 101 Exercises for the Soul (A Divine Workout Plan for Body, Mind, and Spirit). Bernie’s books also include those like Love, Magic & Mudpies, a great resource for parents and delightful, loving stories like Buddy’s Candle to help children of all ages cope with the loss of a loved one, be it a pet or parent. Reflecting on his work so far, Bernie quotes Woody Allen who once said, “If I had one wish it would be to be somebody else.” Bernie’s wish was to be a few inches taller, and can say now that he is a few inches taller because his work has been such a growth experience.

In 1978, nearly a decade before retirement, Bernie launched ECaP—Exceptional Cancer Patients, in which he and his wife and co-worker, Bobbie, remain active today. ECaP is a therapeutic approach Bernie calls Carefrontation that helps patients interpret their drawings, dreams and images to express their feelings about the healing process. The physical, spiritual, and psychological benefits that emerge strengthen the immune system, a direct response to the power of the Mind-Body Connection about which Bernie has written and spoken extensively. He is currently working on other books with the goal of empowering patients and teaching survival behavior to enhance immune system competency. Bernie believes that in the next decade, the roles of consciousness, spirituality, non-local healing, body memory, and heart energy will all be explored more intensively as scientific subjects.

All along the way, Bernie’s wife, Barbara H. Siegel—or Bobbie—has been a mainstay at workshops on helping patients interpret their drawings and especially, with a talent for very funny one-liners, at workshops on the healing power of humor. Bobbie, a graduate of Oswego State Teachers College with a BS in Early Childhood Education, credits her academic work as the preparation she needed to educate and train Bernie. On his part, Bernie does say that her guidance has helped him become the person he is today. Bobbie and Bernie raised five children together and now, as then, live in a home full of children’s things (for their eight grandchildren), pets, and especially love.

Read Bernie’s regular blog posts on his website where you will also find his books, articles, and CDs: