Posts Tagged ‘anger’

Kids and Anger

All kids get angry. It is a normal, useful, and healthy emotion. The problem with anger occurs when they don’t know how to express it appropriately or turn it inward. It is vitally important to help our children learn how to process, verbalize, and ultimately heal their anger.

According to my guest, John Eric Jacobsen who created the Kids In Trance Program, all emotions are what he calls “action signals” – they warn us that something is wrong and needs our attention. Once we receive the warning, we do not need to hold on to the emotion. We are free to release it and focus our energy towards finding a solution to the issue. When anger is channeled properly, it can be a beneficial force which brings about positive change. Too many of our young people today use anger in a very destructive manner, causing pain and suffering to others and ultimately to themselves.

John teaches children how to meditate or go into a trance. It is a state of deep relaxation easily accessible to them and a natural part of their daily routine. Have you ever noticed when children are watching TV how mesmerized they are by what is on the screen? They appear to be hypnotized by the visual and audio stimuli and they actually are. This is the precise moment when they are most receptive to positive suggestions, what John refers to as “auto suggestions”. Whenever you notice your child is deeply relaxed, verbally express a positive reinforcement to them. “You have less and less anger in you.” Keep it simple and positive. In that way, you are conditioning your child to behave in a more appropriate manner. A relaxed body and mind doesn’t get upset. Changes must be made on an internal level in order to change outward behavior.

John also spoke briefly about self-esteem and its role in anger. There are six characteristics of low self-esteem in our children:
• anger and rage issues
• smoking and substance abuse
• vulnerability to peer pressure
• eating disorders
• strained or hostile relationships
• generally unhappy

In order to better help your child with their issues of anger and rage, begin with addressing how they feel about themselves. Teach them to express their feelings in an appropriate manner. Give them skills to find solutions to whatever is troubling them. Teach them relaxation techniques. And above all, be a good role model of healthy anger.

For more information, contact John Eric Jacobsen @ 856-988-7266 or visit www.KidsinTrance.com.
Order your copy of The Secret Side of Anger by Janet Pfeiffer @http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

The FGA Quotient (Frustration, Guilt, Anger)

My guest today was Chloe Jonpaul who spoke about the FGA Quotient. FGA stands for frustration, guilt and anger. All are interconnected in some way. And while each creates an uncomfortable environment for us, we need to pay attention to them (as with all emotions) for they all have value and purpose.

Frustration is an indication that something or someone is not what we desire it to be and we feel powerless to facilitate the changes we desire. The harder we try, the greater our level of frustration when change is not forthcoming. Rather than try to force something to be what we want it to be, we can accept that, for now, it is what it is. Accepting that which we do not have the ability or right to alter allows us to be at peace with it and focus our energy on what we are able to change.

Guilt is the voice of our conscience. It alerts us to the fact that something is wrong. Guilt can become a destructive force when we get stuck in it as it will slowly erode our self-esteem. By simply relabeling guilt, we can manifest a very different, and positive, outcome. Rather than state, “I feel guilty about not spending time with my children”, restate it as “I’m going to to make time each day for my sons.” Creative problem solving restores our personal power and provides hope that the situation will improve.

Anger is not a bad emotion as many believe. In fact, is can be a very motivating force to bring about positive change. Anger is a messenger of sorts, warning us that something is amiss and needs our attention. Once we’ve received the message, we can direct all of our time, energy, and resources into creating a positive outcome.

Very often people seek to immediately alleviate themselves of uncomfortable feelings. However, it is imperative to spend some time with them, discover what they are here to tell us about ourselves or the situation, and choose to use each one as a motivator of transformation. Frustration, guilt, and anger can be beneficial if we choose to use them as such.

Share your thoughts below.

You can learn more about Chloe Jonpaul by visiting her website, www.Chloejonpaul.com .

Order your copy of The Secret Side of Anger, by Janet Pfeiffer, at www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com.

Oh, Deer!

I was ecstatic when we moved into our home fifteen years ago. Leaving behind a congested suburb for a more rural area abundant with wildlife was a dream-come-true for me. I’ve always felt a special connection with nature and to be living among her finest was heaven! Herds of deer, magnificent black bears, red foxes – all were regular visitors to my backyard. And for an amateur photographer, what could be more convenient than to have my subjects come to me?

A few short months after settling in, I was out for my daily power walk early one warm Saturday morning. About two miles from my house is a gorgeous golf course with a large field of tall grass at the southern end. From the road, I noticed something moving. Upon closer investigation, I saw two huge brown eyes and giant ears peering up from the grass. It was a brand new baby deer! I glanced around for the mother – she was no where in sight. I felt a rush of anxiety as I feared for the fawn’s life. I ran home and, together with my husband, grabbed some blankets, jumped into the car and raced back to the field. I scooped the little guy up in my arms and brought him home. My neighbor, Joe, had a petting zoo so I called him for guidance. “You should have left him alone. His mother was nearby keeping a watchful eye over him. That’s what deer do. Hurry and put him back.”

I felt sick to my stomach. Did I just sentence this little guy to death? Was his mama gone by now? What have I done, I asked myself? I carefully placed him in the exact spot where I found him and glanced around for his mama but she was nowhere to be found. By now, he was strong enough to stand and immediately ran off into the wooded area.

We all have good intentions but how often do we try to force something to happen that perhaps is just not meant to be? Many years ago, I put myself in the middle of a family members’ dispute. A rift between several loved ones caused me great distress as I watched them argue over a trivial misunderstanding. A well-intentioned intervention on my part only made matters worse. I felt horrible! I only wanted to help. I sheepishly admitted to my misguided efforts in an attempt to right and even bigger wrong but it was too late. An apology was unable to undo the damage I had just caused. I had to let it go. In time, the affected parties worked things out in their own way. They were fully capable and certainly didn’t need any help from me.

Misguided intentions usually arise from fear and/or ego. I don’t trust that the situation at hand will work itself out or that those involved are qualified to resolve the issue on their own. Ego tells me I am the more competent party needed to solve this problem. My own anxiety over the current circumstances outweighs the needs of those involved to perhaps allow things to remain status quo. I need to have faith that what is meant to happen will but only when all necessary conditions are in place.

Sometimes intervention is necessary and sometimes not. It is not always up to me to say how things should be. Allow things to unfold naturally. What is meant to occur will – in its own time and way.

Read: The Force Be With You…Or Not @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-newsletter.html#force