Posts Tagged ‘healing’

THE GOOD NEWS IS….

Therapist and Positive Living Expert, Diane Lang, has given us hope! As my recent guest on Anger 9-1-1, Diane shared her knowledge and expertise on anger, stress, optimistic living, and happiness. I wholeheartedly agree with Diane when she says moods and attitudes are contagious. Spend some time with a negative or depressed person and you’ll discover how easy it is to become infected by their attitude. What began as a good day rapidly digresses into a miserable and unpleasant experience. But all is not lost! It is possible to inoculate yourself against negativity and maintain your happiness.

Diane suggests that if you want more happiness in your life, follow these few simple rules:

1. Make sure your basic needs are being met. Whether nutritionally, emotionally, financially, spiritually, physically, etc. take care in getting what is essential for your well-being. This includes getting at least six to seven hours of sleep per night and exercising regularly. Keep a Journal of Truth. Log your activities each day for a week. Then take a few moments to review it and check for missing needs. This will allow you to incorporate them in your daily routine.

2. Remove toxic people from your life. Surround yourself with positive, upbeat, happy people and you will find yourself absorbing their attitudes.

3. Live in the moment. Too often, we get stuck in the past: the what if’s, the I should have’s, the why’s. Learn from the past but let go of it. And don’t worry about the future. The future is filled with unknowns and we tend to project the worst which leads to anxiety and worry. Plan for tomorrow but live for today. Put everything into perspective. Only deal with what is present to you at this precise moment. That’s enough for now. Otherwise it’s easy to overwhelm yourself.

4. Express how you feel. Don’t bottle your emotions up inside of you. Learn healthy ways to share them. Then process and heal each one.

5. Laugh and smile. Never underestimate the power of humor. Not only does it make us feel better but it also keeps us physically healthier.

Optimistic people recover quicker from issues, see things in a more positive light, heal more rapidly from illnesses, have healthier relationships, experience greater success, and overall, enjoy life to a greater degree. And the good news is: you can learn to be more positive. So, here’s to your happiness!

To learn more about Diane Lang, visit her website at www.dlcounseling.com or email her at Lifeline36@aol.com.

Why Suppressing Anger Doesn’t Work and What Does?

Reasons

Some of us have been taught it is not ok to get angry; that on some level anger is a bad thing. And although it has (unfortunately) become a source of media entertainment some degree, it certainly is still considered socially unacceptable. There are those who are uncomfortable speaking their mind for fear of the possible repercussions. “How will others perceive me: will I be considered mean, difficult, a trouble-maker? I want people to like me and nice people don’t get angry.”

Some believe they have no voice or do not have a right to speak up; or perhaps what they have to say is of no value and others are not interested. Still others were taught as children that anger is sinful. Low self-esteem, the absence of confidence and misinformation are all contributors to suppressing anger.

Dangers

But this behavior can have devastating consequences. Besides leading to possible health-related issues*, it can easily turn to resentment, bitterness, an inability to enjoy life, unhappiness, depression and relationship issues. In extreme cases, it can result in self-inflicted punishment, sabotaging success, passive-aggressive behavior and substance abuse.

*In The Secret Side of Anger, Dr. Bernie Siegel says, “One’s life and one’s health are inseparable. Genes do not make the decisions. Our internal environment does. You internalize anger and it destroys you. Self-induced healing is not an accident.”

Anger can be expressed safely and must be resolved internally.

Solutions

Learn to express yourself through assertive behaviors: be respectful of the other party and confident in your own abilities to handle the situation well and deal with whatever the reaction may be. Being assertive means being concerned for the well-being of the other party and does not impose a “hierarchy” mentality.

Don’t be afraid to take the initiative but do remember to deal with facts only. Leave opinions, perceptions, assumptions, accusations, blame, demands, judgments and accusations locked in a closet somewhere. Be solution oriented: seek a resolution all can live with. Be willing and ready to compromise.

Speak with confidence and set boundaries when necessary. Always be brief and to the point. Long-windedness can be frustrating for the other party and may lead to additional conflict.

And don’t forget to forgive. We all behave badly at times and other people become angry with us. Forgiveness heals any residual anger and allows us to live in peace.

Practice PROD:

State your Position and Request (assertive) rather than Opinion and Demand (aggressive).

Things don’t always work out the way we want. Just because we speak up, the situation may not improve. But at least you stated your position and created the possibility. Whatever the outcome, let it go and be at peace. Just as anger is a choice, so is peace. Choose wisely.