Posts Tagged ‘host’

How Your Anger Benefits Me

Your anger can actually benefit me. That sounds a bit ludicrous, wouldn’t you agree? Anger hurts the one experiencing it but how can it possibly work to my advantage? If you become angry with me, I might feel upset, disrespected, scared, or angry in return. On a deeper level those emotions can prove to be insightful and so to that extent yes, I can benefit. But is there something more that can be gained by witnessing or being the target of another person’s ire?

1. Loss of Control:
We make decision in one of two ways: either emotionally or intellectually. Emotions cloud rational judgment. When we become angry, we don’t necessarily think things through clearly and sometimes say or do things that could potentially be counterproductive. Intellect allows us to rationally collect data, process it, and draw a logical conclusion. Much like medical personnel in a hospital, one must keep a clear head in order to effectively address the task at hand. To become emotional could prove catastrophic. Regarding anger: when the other party becomes highly emotional, I can more easily gain control over the situation simply by displaying composure and a clear mind. To those observing us, I appear to be more mature and coherent thereby garnering their respect and giving me greater authority. Should their anger become physical, legally I again have the upper hand as well and may chose to press charges.

One who is highly emotional is also more easily manipulated. Fear of not being heard or getting their way can easily result in their talking over the other party and/or not paying attention to the actions being taken and decisions being made until long after they have calmed down. By not listening to, understanding, or taking part in the decision-making process they relinquished their power and are at the mercy of the other party. Anger negates logic giving those who maintain their composure the upper hand. When you lose control I can easily capture it.

2. Anger and the Innocent:
The way in which you express your anger can reflect poorly on you. If you are bashing me, gossiping behind my back, making false accusations, criticizing, embarrassing, or humiliating me in front of others, there is a high probability that others will leap to my defense. I could easily be perceived as an innocent victim (regardless of any preceding circumstances or inappropriate behaviors on my part) evoking compassion or sympathy from others while relegating you to the unfavorable position of bully. I need only to sit quietly and maintain my image of innocence while allowing you to ruin your own reputation.

3. Anger, Self-esteem, and Health:
Frustration (aka stress) is an underlying root cause of anger and a leading cause of health issues. Knowing that her husband has high blood pressure and is considered high risk for a heart attack, Karen broaches a highly controversial issue (remodeling the kitchen), knowing full well that when her husband becomes angry and upset, all she need do is remind him that should he become overly stressed he could easily suffer a heart attack. Therefore, it would be in his best interest if he simply conceded to her demands.

How easy is it to manipulate someone into being submissive using such statements as “You’re out of control; there’s something wrong with you; no one is taking you seriously; if anyone sees you acting like that they’re going to think you’re crazy.” For one with a poor self-image, their anger can be their downfall, enabling the other person to manipulate them into full compliance. Add to that any potential health issues and the one at risk may easily back down.

4. Anger – Purveyor of Truth
People often say things when they’re angry that they would not normally say under agreeable conditions. They may reveal how they really feel about you or inform you as to what others are saying about you. As hurtful as this can be, it can be a blessing in disguise for it enables the receiving party to more deeply understand the nature of their relationship as well as give them some possible insights into themselves that they may not otherwise be aware of. This affords them the opportunity to work at improving their relationship with the other party and/or correct any (possible) unflattering behaviors.

5. Covert Anger
Not all anger is obvious. Sometimes it presents itself under the guise of sarcasm, rejection, constructive criticism, silence and more. Repressed anger may reveal a dormant issue between both parties now coming to the forefront for discussion. Or perhaps the issue lies strictly within you, thus providing a window of opportunity with which to acknowledge, express, and potentially resolve it. Covert anger invites the individual to become acutely aware of passive or passive/aggressive anger within themselves or the party. In either case, one can now address the behavior and underlying issue, get it resolved, or if necessary set clear and firm boundaries.

Anger is one of the most powerful of all human emotions. If you choose to entertain it into your heart, at the very least, be your own beneficiary of your ire. Use it to motivate you to make positive changes that benefit you as well as those around you. In that way, your anger can be a gift to all who are present. And that’s exactly what it’s meant to do.

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Anger: How Much is Too Much?

Jesus got angry. He was troubled by the many injustices he encountered while on Earth. At times, he expressed his dismay to those around Him. Anger, as with all emotions, has a place and purpose. But how does one know if there is too much anger in their lives? Here are ten warning signs to gauge if your anger levels exceed what is considered safe and healthy:

1. Frequency: how often do you get angry? Rarely, every day, several times a day, or are you always upset? One who flies off the handle at the drop of a hat needs to get to the root of their issues.
2. Intensity: do you find yourself primarily mildly annoyed, angry or do you express full blown rage? Mild anger is easily remedied without causing significant damage. Intense anger or rage can prove extremely detrimental to one’s safety and well-being.
3. Duration: does your anger dissipate momentarily, do you struggle to let it go, or are you someone who holds on to it indefinitely, possibly even seeking revenge? The longer the anger remains the greater the damage.
4. Aggression: does your anger lead to aggressive outbursts of a physical or verbal nature? This can have devastating consequences on the individual as well as those around them. One out of control moment can lead to a lifetime of suffering.
5. Relationships: are your intimate, personal, social, and/or professional relationships being negatively impacted by your anger? Are you fighting with family and/or friends or having problems getting along with coworkers? Don’t blame them! This red flag is a serious indicator of deep rooted issues and needs immediate attention.
6. Outsiders: how are those around you being affected by your anger? Are people afraid of you or do they avoid you for fear of triggering an outburst? We often learn the most about ourselves by carefully observing how our actions impact others.
7. Health: is your physical well-being being affected by your anger? Even repressed anger can lead to health issues ranging from mild stomach upset, to elevated blood pressure, to cancer and beyond. Listen to your body – it is a messenger for your emotional self.
8. Law: has your anger gotten you in trouble with the law? Have you been arrested for a physical altercation or for damaging personal property? Major red flag – one bad choice can change your life forever.
9. Joy: how is your anger impacting your overall enjoyment of life? Are you agitated, miserable, unhappy or simply unable to fully embrace life? Remember – you were created to be joyful and happy. You deserve so much better but only you are responsible for your life.
10. Others: what do your friends, family, and coworkers say about you? Do they believe you have a problem with anger? People act as mirrors: they reflect back to us what we do not recognize in ourselves. Pay close attention to what others have to say. They can prove to be your greatest allies.

No one is suggesting that you never be angry. Even the Son of God got ticked off. But keep in mind: anger is a choice. No one makes you angry. How frequently you experience it, how long you hold on to it, the manner in which you express it, process it, and/or heal it is entirely in your hands. Choose wisely because anger can be your ally or your worst nightmare. Pleasant dreams.

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Fuel Your Children’s Dreams! RECIPES. Thurs. 1pm ET


Do you have an aspiring NBA player, veterinarian, dancer or singer in your home?  How about a child determined to be an Olympian gymnast, MLB star, teacher, artist or policeman.  Thousands of kids have shared their dreams with me and I simply tell them, “You can be that but you have to do 3 things: learn what you need to learn, practice what you learn, eat the foods your body needs to be the best you can be!”  This gets their attention.  Listen to how we connect why making healthier food choices will help them be great.  Carolina Jantac, MS, RDN, LD (Kid Kritics Approved) and I will give you the keys proven to motivate children to choose to eat foods such as Broccoli Bites, Pepper Poppers and even Japchae Veggie Stir-Fry (filled with kale, spinach, shitake mushrooms and more).  Facts are, these recipes tasted so good they begged for more.  This show is your ticket to finding out how to turn your children on to feeding their brains, heart, lungs, muscles, hair, nails, eyes, teeth, bones and blood. No more nagging!

Come into our Family Food Experts Kitchen to join Carolina and me as we Fuel Your Children’s Dreams with healthy delicious foods the whole family will love!

Thursday, 1pm ET, on and

… for the health of your family,

If you miss the live show, tune in on Sunday, 1pm ET,