Posts Tagged ‘hurt’

Kids and Anger

All kids get angry. It is a normal, useful, and healthy emotion. The problem with anger occurs when they don’t know how to express it appropriately or turn it inward. It is vitally important to help our children learn how to process, verbalize, and ultimately heal their anger.

According to my guest, John Eric Jacobsen who created the Kids In Trance Program, all emotions are what he calls “action signals” – they warn us that something is wrong and needs our attention. Once we receive the warning, we do not need to hold on to the emotion. We are free to release it and focus our energy towards finding a solution to the issue. When anger is channeled properly, it can be a beneficial force which brings about positive change. Too many of our young people today use anger in a very destructive manner, causing pain and suffering to others and ultimately to themselves.

John teaches children how to meditate or go into a trance. It is a state of deep relaxation easily accessible to them and a natural part of their daily routine. Have you ever noticed when children are watching TV how mesmerized they are by what is on the screen? They appear to be hypnotized by the visual and audio stimuli and they actually are. This is the precise moment when they are most receptive to positive suggestions, what John refers to as “auto suggestions”. Whenever you notice your child is deeply relaxed, verbally express a positive reinforcement to them. “You have less and less anger in you.” Keep it simple and positive. In that way, you are conditioning your child to behave in a more appropriate manner. A relaxed body and mind doesn’t get upset. Changes must be made on an internal level in order to change outward behavior.

John also spoke briefly about self-esteem and its role in anger. There are six characteristics of low self-esteem in our children:
• anger and rage issues
• smoking and substance abuse
• vulnerability to peer pressure
• eating disorders
• strained or hostile relationships
• generally unhappy

In order to better help your child with their issues of anger and rage, begin with addressing how they feel about themselves. Teach them to express their feelings in an appropriate manner. Give them skills to find solutions to whatever is troubling them. Teach them relaxation techniques. And above all, be a good role model of healthy anger.

For more information, contact John Eric Jacobsen @ 856-988-7266 or visit www.KidsinTrance.com.
Order your copy of The Secret Side of Anger by Janet Pfeiffer @http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

How to Prevent People From Pushing Your Buttons and Making You Angry

How many times have you blamed someone else for how you feel? “You really make me angry!” “You hurt my feelings!” “You totally embarrassed me!” Most people don’t realize that by allowing others to determine how we feel, we actually give away our personal power. We allow others to decide for us how we will feel at any given moment. When I live without power I am, in essence, a victim – I am incapable of making choices for myself and have assigned that responsibility to another. They have the power to determine my level of happiness, joy, love, esteem, misery, rage and so forth. For me, that is not ok. I am a fully functioning adult and am capable of choosing for myself just how happy or miserable I’ll be.

But how does one choose their feelings, including anger? One must first understand where feeling originate: all feelings are the direct result of what we think. Feelings come from thoughts. Throughout the day, we have hundreds or possibly thousands of experiences. For each event, we form a corresponding thought. I look outside my window and think, “My yard really needs a lot of work.” The phone rings and I say to myself, “I hope that’s my son calling from college!” My internal dialogue, the voice in my head, my thoughts, generate a corresponding feeling. I can feel depressed over the condition of my yard or angry that my husband hasn’t taken care of it. I may be ecstatic over the thought of hearing my child’s voice or dread it knowing he only calls asking for money. Either way, I decide how I want to feel. “Oh, well. The yard isn’t really that important. He’s a good husband in so many other ways.” “At least my son calls! Some parents never hear from their children.” A simple change of thought (perception) changes the emotion we experience.
Knowing this allows me to be master of my life – I alone dictate what I think, how I’ll feel, what I say or do, and the direction my life will take.

Here’s a simple equation to remember this – I call it TECO Magic: Thoughts > Emotions > Choices > Outcome.
Thoughts (which we choose) generate Emotions. Next, we act out what we feel. All behaviors and Choices are an expression of what we are feeling internally. Every decision (Choice) we make produces an Outcome, good or not good. Positive thoughts generate positive emotions which cause us to make smart choices and we create a beneficial outcome. Negative begets negative.

Choose your thoughts wisely. They determine the outcome of your life. Remember: “Where your mind goes your life follows.”
Visit www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com for more articles on anger.