Posts Tagged ‘Live Performance’

More Advantageous Than Anger

Anger is a very powerful emotion which many conclude is a bad feeling. Whether one chooses to use it in a constructive manner or in a hostile way, it carries a lot of punch (figuratively speaking, of course). As you become angry your body’s muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter chemicals are released, your heart rate accelerates, blood pressure rises, and your rate of breathing increases, all in preparation for you to take some type of physical action. Additionally, adrenaline and noradrenalin are released which trigger a state of heightened awareness. You’re now ready to fight or run.

There are certain benefits associated with anger, specifically that it alerts us to the fact that something is wrong and needs our attention. However, if one is not adept at effectively expressing and eventually healing it, it can lead to volatile outbursts, aggressive behavior, or, over an extended period of time, to medical maladies. One of the greatest challenges people face is allowing others to push their buttons and make them angry. In doing so, one relinquishes the ability to choose their feelings and subsequent actions. Whenever an individual is in a highly emotional state of mind, they run an increased risk of saying or doing something destructive that can have serious consequences and devastating effects on themselves and/or those around them.

A more advantageous and effective state of mind is that of inner peace. While some view peacefulness as a sign of weakness or ineffectiveness, the exact opposite is actually true. When one is peaceful, they are operating with a clear and present mind. Being calm enables one to focus better and thereby see the situation from a more rational perspective. A clear mind gathers relevant information and enables the individual to make an intellectual decision as to what steps, if any, to take. Being peaceful does not mean one fails to address such issues as injustice, arrogance, selfishness, abuse, disrespect, and such. Those behaviors that one deems unfavorable or morally or socially inappropriate are carefully identified and brought forth for discussion.

From a physiological perspective, when one is calm breathing becomes slow, deep, and regular; heart rate slows down; blood flow improves, and muscle tension is reduced. Peacefulness supports brain growth and the generation and maintenance of synapses which are responsible for transmitting information throughout the brain. Lack of stress strengthens the body’s natural immune system, thus improving one’s overall physical health. Peaceful people are generally happier, live more fulfilling lives (they are not easily agitated by life’s everyday challenges), have healthier relationships, and live longer (less stress = longer life)

Emotions are neither positive or negative. In actuality, they are messengers that give us insight into ourselves, what matters to us and what’s unimportant, as well as what our personal issues are so that we may address and heal them.

Peace is at the root of all beneficial and healthy emotions. One cannot experience happiness, gratitude, joy, love, contentment, etc. unless they are at peace with themselves and those around them. When one is experiencing a sense of contentment in that moment, then anger, fear, resentment, etc cannot manifest as the mind can only create one emotion at a time. A positive thought-process generates like feelings.

You cannot grow lilacs in a cold, dark, damp environment. While there is intrinsic value in those environmental conditions, if what you are seeking are brightly colored and sweetly scented flowers then you must provide sunlight, warmth, and the exact right amount of moisture. Anything less will produce a contradictory product.

While anger gives the illusion of power, in actuality it can very easily cause us to relinquish control over ourselves and our lives. Choose your authentic power, the ability to consciously and calmly respond to life on your terms rather than react emotionally to what is occurring around you.
So, if you want to gain an advantage in life, choose to live from a place of inner peace and serenity. Your body will thank you; your friends and family will thank you; and most importantly, you will be pleased beyond measure for you have discovered the key to blissful living.

Maintaining peace in any situation:
Stop what you’re doing. Take a deep breath. Evaluate the situation (is it important or not?). Choose to get involved or let it go. If it needs your attention, create a rational plan of action.

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The Truth About Love, Hurt, and Anger

We’re all familiar with the phrase, “love hurts”. Too often, we take a witty cliché and assign truth to it. We then refer to it in times when it brings comfort, helps us to make a decision, or emphasizes a point. In reference to “love hurts”, those who have been betrayed by someone they loved and trusted may be deeply wounded by their actions and vow never to love again. One who has buried a loved one, either human or pet, feels the excruciating pain of the loss and refuses to ever allow themselves to feel so deeply for another living creature. And while many singer/songwriters have declared the heartache associated with love, the truth is that it is not love that causes pain. That, in fact, contradicts the very nature of love. In 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8, the Bible tells us that “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” If, in fact, love doesn’t hurt then where does all the pain come from in relationships?

Hurt, one of the three root causes of anger, is the result of such behaviors as:
• Disrespect – when one feels devalued due to the words or actions of the other party.
• Anger – raging against the other party rather than calmly discussing what’s bothering you.
• Expressing little if any regard for their partner’s feelings or well-being.
• Being left out or ignored – a covert message that you are not important.
• Pain results when one fails to keep their word, when a promise or trust is broken – the very foundation upon which a loving relationship is built in order to survive and thrive. Clearly the offending party does not consider their partner nor the relationship important enough to remain trustworthy.
• One who betrays their beloved by finding another love interest sends a clear message that there is another who is superior to them, one that they hold in higher regard and care more deeply for.
• A partner asking or insisting that the other one change relays a very powerful message that “You are not ok the way you are.”
• To place unrealistic expectations or demands on one’s companion creates added stress that clearly shows a lack of regard for the other person’s health or happiness.
• Hurt in relationships occurs when one party takes personal offense to the actions of the other or judges or labels their partner.
• Clearly, actual love is not the source of our suffering. It is in our selfish attitudes, insecurities, and mean-spirited behaviors that hurt originates.

If not recognized and healed, hurt can easily escalate to anger, an emotion that restores our sense of power and fights to re-establish our authority and control in the relationship.
Love is a choice, a decision to always see the goodness in the other person, to see God’s presence within them. It is a verb, an action word, to always honor and value (respect) them, to treat them as though they are the most priceless gift in your life even and especially when we are upset with them.

Love is thoughtful, kind, compassionate, considerate, accepting and appreciative. It sacrifices for the good of the other, and puts their love’s best interest above their own. Love supports that which is important to the other, refrains from criticism (even the so-called constructive version), and wishes for nothing but abundant blessings to flow into their lives. It is never jealous but rather encourages as much love to enter that person’s life as possible from other sources as well.

Keep in mind that what you say to yourself about your partner determines how you feel about them. It is your thoughts that dictate your feelings.*And your feelings determine how well or poorly you treat them. Therefore, if you want to feel more love, think loving thoughts. It’s that simple.

Valentine’s Day, although promoted as a day for romantic lovers, is also the perfect time to remind anyone and everyone in your life that you love just how deeply you hold them in your heart. Re evaluate your love relationships. If there is pain, rest assured that it is not a characteristic of love. Look closely at the above mentioned causes and take the necessary steps to correct any hurtful, selfish behaviors. Replace them with kindness, compassion, acceptance, appreciation and the like and you will witness a joyful transformation of your relationship that reflects the love you contribute.

“I love you for who you are. I appreciate you for what you do.”

*Refer to TECO Magic in The Secret Side of Anger
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Ten Tips For Keeping Peace in an Out of Control World

I don’t know about you but to me the world keeps getting crazier. Nothing makes sense anymore. I sometimes feel as though I’ve fallen into the rabbit hole in Alice in Wonderland. In an age of endless technology and societal demands, I am acutely aware of the ever constant pressures of living in an out of control world. What used to come naturally to me now requires a conscious effort to remain peaceful and calm. Here are ten tips that you can practice in order to maintain your sense of serenity in a chaotic environment:

1. Remain emotionally detached from the drama and chaos. Someone coined the phrase, “You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.” This holds true for drama as well. Make a commitment to never initiate or engage in it.
2. Remove yourself from the discord whenever possible. You have free will and Divine rights. If something is not benefiting you, you have every right to walk away from it.
3. Put everything into perspective. Some humans have a sad habit of making a mountain out of a molehill. Is this situation really so serious that drama is a natural component? A life-threatening injury or natural disaster perhaps; everything else not so much.
4. Set boundaries and limits with drama queens. You are not required to be subjected to the havoc they generate.
5. Practice mindfulness – live in and enjoy the moment. Let go of the past – it’s yesterday’s news; do not worry about the future – it never arrives. Remain focused on where you are now and what you are thinking, feeling, and doing. Concern yourself only with the now.
6. Let go of whatever you cannot control. If it is not within you have no power over it. “Let go and let God” is a wonderfully calming mantra to behold.
7. Think before responding. Not every situation requires a response. But if in fact you choose to reply give careful consideration to your choice of words and actions making sure they are calming responses rather than inflammatory.
8. Have faith and trust in God remembering that all is as it is meant to be. Many stressful experiences have a higher purpose. Know that your Heavenly Father will be the Light in your darkness, He will calm the internal storm, and make right everything in your life – in His time, not necessarily ours.
9. It is not the experience that we need to concern ourselves with but rather what it is here to teach us and how we are meant to use it for our own good and the good of humanity. We often put too much emphasis on the event rather than on Divine Purpose.
10. Commit to peace. Make it your way of life. Never allow anyone to distract you or interfere with your right to live in Divine harmony with the world.

Everything is subjective. I can choose to involve myself in the chaos of the world and allow myself to become infected by all of the drama. Or I can accept my Divine birthright and live harmoniously even in an out of control world. For me, nothing matters more than peace.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @
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