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Posts Tagged ‘love’

No Sweat! It’s Just Menopause on Your Book Your Brand Your Business

Tune in on Monday, December 10 at 5 PM Eastern when I interview Jill Lebofsky, author of the book, No Sweat! It’s Just Menopause on Your Book Your Brand Your Business.

Menopause. Great sex. Empty nesting. Staying active and fit. Rediscovering and redefining oneself. Jill Lebofsky creates a safe space for women in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s to learn and share and then hits the hot topics helping them to survive and thrive during their middle ages. Jill’s easily digestible, fun delivery and interactive approach to learning has helped over 2,000 midlife women in her career gain control over their physical, emotional, sexual, hormonal, spiritual and financial well-being. They have seen results of happier marriages, increased self-confidence, stronger, fitter bodies and more purpose-filled lives. Husbands have personally thanked her! Jill is the author of the Amazon best-selling book, “No Sweat! It’s Just Menopause: Eating , Exercise and Essential Oils for A Healthy Change.”

She has worked in the health field for over 20 years, specializing since 2008 in women’s wellness as a certified health coach, Pilates instructor and an essential oils educator. She also holds specialty certifications as a menopause coach and breast cancer exercise specialist. But Jill’s biggest achievements are staying happily married to her college sweetheart for 20 years and mothering two high schoolers, at the same time! She is now taking her hopeful message to a larger audience of her peers worldwide, sharing that midlife should be the best years of your life and to embrace the changes and soar. Her simple approach, eat well-move more- use oils is shared through her book, courses, webinars, live events, private Facebook group and business and leadership trainings. Jill practices what she preaches and always says “Once you learn something, you can’t unlearn it. You can either ignore it or choose to do something about it.” Jill Lebofsky is champion for the midlife woman.

Jill and I look forward to your participation in the live chat and will do our best to respond to all your questions. In the meantime, preview and purchase No Sweat! It’s Just Menopause on Amazon in Kindle or paperback.

I DARE YOU TO ASK THIS

Relationships are critically important in our lives. On a professional level, being a good team player and getting along well with others enables us to maintain our jobs and receive such perks as bonuses or promotions. Also, connecting with the right people can advance our careers providing we have good interpersonal skills. How people feel about us on the job plays an important role in how successful we are professionally speaking.
In our social lives, relationships take on another vital role. Being able to form and sustain healthy bonds with others impacts the number and nature of our friendships, provides opportunities in social settings, allows for ease of living in our neighborhoods, improves our health, and contributes to our overall enjoyment of life.

On a personal level, strong intimate connections bond people together in marriage and secure the future of the human population. Intimacy of an emotional nature holds families together during life’s most challenging times. It also multiplies our happiness and sustains us through our darkest moments. It allows for a deeper understanding of all parties which foster personal awareness, compassion, and growth. We are challenged to become better people as a result of knowing others intimately.

Humans are social creatures by nature and therefore need a strong skill set in order to develop and maintain mutually satisfying and healthy, balanced, long term partnerships. Getting along well with others lessens the chance of damaging conflict from erupting, eases tensions between both parties, enables the individual to forgive the indiscretions of the other, extends support and compassion to each other, and genuinely enjoys the company of one another. Learning to work or cohabitate in close proximity with others is not an easy task but certainly one that is attainable and definitely rewarding.

In recent studies it has been shown that those in healthy relationships are not only the happiest but the healthiest as well. They also have a longer projected life expectancy than those who are loners or who have difficulty interacting successfully with others.

For the most part people put forth a sincere effort in trying to get along with others. After all, it’s just common sense that the more gratifying our interactions are with others the less stress between us. Healthy friendships are easier on every level and people seek to avoid drama as much as possible. When we truly care about others and the nature of our interactions with them, we treat them in a manner that benefits all parties. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” This philosophy has served mankind well for centuries.

Yet even with our best efforts we still find ourselves arguing, fighting, hurting one another, and becoming frustrated, disappointed, and disillusioned to the point where relationships suffer or fail. Many people are clueless as to what went wrong. Instead, of taking ownership for their role, they find fault with the other person: “You’re never satisfied with anything I do for you! I was a good husband/wife – there was no reason to leave me.” “I put my heart and soul into my job. How could they possibly fire me? This is so wrong!”

It’s difficult for individuals to fully comprehend their role in why a relationships didn’t work. We praise ourselves for everything we do right, for all of the effort we put forth, and for everything we overlooked in the other person. We’re also quick to criticize the other person for their imperfections and the mistakes they made. And in doing so, we remain oblivious.

Relationships are like mirrors: they reflect back to us aspects of who we are that we may not be aware of. If I want to look my best, I cannot see precisely what I look like without the assistance of a full length mirror to reflect back to me my own image. If I want to be the absolute best person I can be, I need others to point out to me what they see that I may be blind to. Yet when others comment on what they view as an imperfection, we fail to listen objectively to their comments. I do not deny the physical image the mirror reflects back to me. On the contrary: I am grateful that if I see something I do not like, I have the opportunity to correct it. Yet if someone points out a perceived flaw or defect, rather than appreciate their input, I become defensive and lash out at them. In essence, I deny myself the opportunity to learn something that may enable me to become a better person.

If you want to have strong, healthy, loving, joyful, respectful relationships you must be courageous enough to ask the following question. (And no, it’s not “What don’t you like about me?”) The question is: “Tell me what it’s like being with me?” This question is not for the faint-of-heart and if you are not fully prepared to consider the response, do not venture down this road.

The difference between the two questions I posed is that question number (“What don’t you like about me?”) opens one up to criticism, a perceived attack from the commentator on what they believe to be the shortcomings and liabilities of the listener. Few people are willing to hear such comments and may respond by attacking the integrity of the other party stating that they should be looking at their own faults rather than commenting on someone else’s. The second question, (“Tell me what it’s like being with me?” ), focuses on the individual’s personal experience of being in your presence.
Think of it from this perspective: imagine they are relaying their experience of being in the rain. They are not criticizing the precipitation itself but instead are speaking objectively about their first hand encounter of getting wet. Likewise with communicating their feelings about being with you, the inquiring party: since the focus is not on you, there is no need to become defensive and retaliate. You can simply listen to a recount of that person’s feelings about their encounter with you. Though not necessarily easy to listen to, it can be one of the most insightful opportunities of your life. “When we’re together, I feel uncomfortable, as though I need to monitor everything I say.” Or it can be positive: “When I’m with you, it’s like being with an old friend – very easy.”

Keep in mind: this is not a question for the fearful or insecure. One must be willing to listen quietly, open-mindedly, and without interruption to a complete recount of what the other person encounters when in your company. In doing so, you are able to see yourself through their eyes and gain some deep personal insights into the manner in which you portray yourself. The way we perceive ourselves is rarely the same as others do. Most of us live in denial about the way we behave or are eager to make lame excuses for our actions that we would not afford others.
This exercise is critical in determining whether or not we fully know ourselves and are portraying ourselves accurately (i.e. we are living authentically, do our actions perfectly reflect our intrinsic nature?). Additionally, we will discover what works well and what doesn’t with the other person. I may have a very strong energy that for the majority of people does not present a problem. But for my best friend I may project myself as aggressive or angry. Knowing this allows me to adjust the way I interact with her in a way that she can better relate to and feels more comfortable with. Doing so naturally improves the quality of the relationship.

If I want to look my best then I need a full length mirror to reflect back to me what I cannot see on my own. If I want to be my best, then I need the assistance of others who also mirror back to me what they see that is troublesome so that I may remove it from my persona or improve upon it. Only in doing so can I become the best version of myself possible. I owe that to myself, to others, and to the One who created me. So take the plunge: inquire of others “Tell me what it’s like being with me?” Then sit back, close your mouth, open your ears, and listen with the intend to understand and evolve. What others think of you really does matter.

In each of our relationships, let the well-being of the other person be our primary concern. Always be certain that their lives have been enriched for having spent time in our presence.

Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://ow.ly/OADTf
Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK
Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+

THIS HIDDEN SECRET WILL TRANSFORM YOUR RELATIONSHIP

With the exception of impersonators, most people believe that they only have one voice. That voice is used to express one’s feelings and needs. It can be vocalized either loudly or softly; it’s tone can change from one of sarcasm to that of compassion; one’s voice can be used to express happiness, anger, sadness, silliness, compliments or criticisms. We have our “baby” voice, (typically reserved for newborns), our disciplinary voice (used for our children), our boisterous voice (most commonly found at ballgames, amusement parks or hurled at obnoxious drivers), and our multi-purpose whisper. Words are powerful energies that can encourage, degrade, incite fear, convey love, and so much more. What few people realize is that we have not a single voice but actually two: we have our inner voice – our thoughts – which may then be expressed verbally in our outer voice. Let’s examine the role of both and how they impact our relationships.

In Chapter 4 of my book, The Secret Side of Anger, I speak about a formula that drives the course of our life which I refer to as T~E~C~O Magic: Thoughts, Emotions, Choice, Outcome. The most powerful tool we have are our thoughts, our internal voice that speaks to us throughout the course of every day. From forming opinions about the weather, to determining what items of clothing we’ll wear, to what we think about our children, spouse, friends, coworkers, and even strangers, what we say to ourselves impacts how we feel and ultimately how we treat others in our life.

Consider this: People often believe that when they meet the right person they magically fall in love with them. In most circumstances, at some point the magic fades and they fall out of love. This is a common misconception. What actually takes place is that initially our internal voice repeatedly reminds us of the wonderful attributes the other person possesses. “She’s beautiful!” “He’s so smart!” “I love the way he’s so laid back and easy going.” Our internal voice reminds us of everything wonderful about our significant other. Thoughts, the words and opinions we form in our mind, create Emotions. All feelings are generated by our internal voice. And it’s the feelings that we eventually act out in the subsequent Choices we make – how we choose to speak to and/or treat our partner. We may share compliments or express our gratitude at having such a wonderful person to share our life with. In this case, the Outcome, or result, is a relationship that flourishes.

However, at some point our thoughts typically begin to change. The positive, loving reminders are exchanged for harsh criticism. “She’s beautiful” is replaced with “She conceited.” The quality once referred to as “smart” now is defined as “arrogant”. “Laid back and easy going” is relabeled “lazy and a wimp.” Regardless of the individual’s character or actually behaviors, it is our internal voice, how we label them, that ultimately determines how we feel about them. Feelings change over the course of any relationship not necessarily based on the changes that occur within each party but rather how each person chooses to see their partner. People will choose to see what they want to see and feel what they want to feel about one another. The truth about who that person actually is has little, if anything, to do with it.

How we feel about our partner dictates how we treat them. Those who are treated well remain in relationships and work together to foster a healthy, satisfying, lifetime partnership. Those who allow their inner voice to poison their emotions will ultimately sabotage any love and commitment the two originally shared. One can secure the well-being of their marriage, or any other significant relationship, by utilizing this one secret weapon: monitor and carefully choose your internal voice for it determines how you feel and treat your spouse and ultimately directs the course of your relationship.

Thought ~ Emotion ~ Choice ~ Outcome: TECO Magic: it really works. I should know: this is what’s kept my 20-year marriage alive and happy.

Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html

Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://ow.ly/OADTf
Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK
Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+