My guest today, Dr. Erica Kosal, has been dealing with the devastating illness of her husband, Jim, for the past five years. Understandably, she has experienced a wide range of emotions including stress and anger. But this college professor and mother of two refused to allow those feelings to get the better of her. Instead, she relied on some age-old wisdom from her mother as well as some creative new techniques she developed for herself.
As a child, Erica’s mother recommended that when bad things happen it’s important to acknowledge them but not dwell on them. Refocusing on what is positive allows one to avoid the pitfalls of bitterness, hopelessness, and self-pity – three deadly emotions sure to send one into a downward spiral of despair and anger. Erica later expanded this lesson into one of developing a global perspective – an attitude of living beyond the moment (contrary to what many people practice in terms of living for today). If today is particularly bad, one may have a difficult seeing tomorrow’s sunlight. But the practice of seeing each day or moment in relation to the entirety allows one to be reminded of the good days already lived as well as those waiting on the horizon.
Attitude and perspective also became cornerstones for keeping anger at bay. Reflecting on gratitude for what they had verses resentment over what could no longer be enabled Erica and her husband to cherish the time they shared and make the most of each moment.
Her “Chunk-It” technique may sound too simple to be effective but it works. Rather than view her current situation in its entirety (which can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of hopelessness and despair), she broke down each day into smaller more controllable chunks. In that way, she could manage each task without feeling as though she was being devoured by the enormity of her husband’s condition.
Relying on hypnosis (deep relaxation) and something called The Healing Codes (a combination of prayer and activating energy points on the body), Erica had managed to navigate her way through the greatest challenge of her life without jeopardizing her health, sanity and family.
No one is immune to unexpected challenges and hardships. When trying to find our way in our new circumstances it is easy to fall prey to stress, anger, and sometimes rage. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the most effective. Find what works for you and make it a KISS: Keep It Simple, Sweetie.
Share your suggestions here so others may benefit.
To learn more about Dr. Erica Kosal, author of “Miracles for Daddy: A Family’s Inspirational Fight Against a Modern Medical Goliath” visit her website @ http://www.bouncetoresilience.com/#!services.
To learn more about anger and simple ways to express and heal it, pick up a copy of The Secret Side of Anger @ www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com.

A recent email announcement sent to my entire database promoting my latest book, The Great Truth: Shattering Life’s Most Insidious Lies That Sabotage Your Happiness Along With the Revelation of Life’s Sole Purpose, prompted two angry responses. In both cases, the recipients took offense to my alleged claim that I have somehow miraculously uncovered a mysterious truth others are not privy to. The back cover of my book jacket makes the following statements: The purpose of life is not what we have been led to believe – to be happy, successful, pursue our passion, etc. While each of these has value, they are not the reason we are here. I promise that once you understand Life’s Great Truth and the Universal Sole Purpose of Life you will possess a guaranteed map for effortless living and will see your lives transformed in ways unimaginable. Everything else will follow.

One person called me “too self-assured”, questioning how I could be so confident in knowing such a Truth. The other commenced to describe her life of extreme hardship and the injustices she had endured, comparing her tragic life to my (supposed) life fraught with nothing more than “stupid relationship issues”. She concluded her two paragraph rant with “I would love to hear how you can make me the star you appear to be because I certainly don’t have your POWER!!!!!!” Admittedly she confessed to being very cynical about “these kinds of self-help books wanting to get someone to love them!”

I know pain, insecurity, unhappiness, fear, jealousy, resentment, and bitterness when I see it. And I know enough not to take personal offense to the anger and sarcasm others spew at me. But not everyone is able to do this and some may easily be insulted by the rude and ignorant comments of others. In both cases it was crystal clear to me that each person was dealing with some serious unresolved personal issues and my claims triggered what they have not yet come to terms with. (Behavior is simply an outward expression of our internal issues.) I also understand that neither individual knows anything at all about me: they are unfamiliar with my lectures, haven’t read any of my books or articles, and do not know my life’s story which contains significant amounts of pain and suffering. To make unsubstantiated and outrageous claims against a person one is unfamiliar with is sadly a reflection of that person’s insecurities and lack of knowledge.

There are six surefire ways of offending someone and alternative ways of expressing how we feel.
1. Make unsubstantiated, absurd or inaccurate accusations and assumptions. Or – research and gather facts.
2. Call the other party insulting names. Or – treat them with dignity and respect.
3. Be judgmental, label them disparagingly. Or – give them the benefit of the doubt, be sensitive to their situation, feelings, beliefs, etc.
4. Be indifferent to their pain and suffering. Or – be sensitive and compassionate.
5. Criticize their success, self-esteem, and self-confidence. Or – appreciate and recognize their accomplishments.
6. Be sarcastic, have a bad attitude. Or – be reasonable and fair.
Life is filled with choices. Making the kind ones requires the same amount of energy but yields far better results.
Pick up a copy of The Secret Side of Anger at www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com

I have two acres of beautifully landscaped property with colorful gardens. In each, I’ve planted a wide array of flora: roses, tulips, chrysanthemums, geraniums, daisies, sweet Williams, peonies, and others whose names elude me. One day, while preparing dinner in the kitchen, I heard voices outside. I wasn’t expecting company or the UPS guy so I ventured outside to see who was there. No one was visible yet the voices continued. I followed them around to the front of my house. Still, no one. I stood for a moment wondering if perhaps I needed medication for those voices in my head when I realized the sounds were emanating from below. I looked down – they were coming from my garden.

“What the heck is wrong with you? Are you lazy or just stupid? Here it is June and I’m already in full bloom and you’ve barely stuck your head out of the ground. Loser!” I couldn’t believe what was happening! My garden was at war with itself! I stood in disbelief as the roses and geraniums argued, criticizing one another and calling each other vile names. I was horrified!

“What in the world is going on here?” I questioned. What was supposed to be a diverse assortment of vibrant plant life turned into a battle ground of floral egos. “Rose” explained that while she was in full bloom, her lazy cohorts were dilly-dallying and not taking this whole garden thing seriously. “The growing season doesn’t last forever, you know,” she remarked to them sarcastically.

“Hold on a minute”, I said. “It’s not up to you to determine how and when each flower should grow. The growing conditions must be ideal for each of you and everyone has a unique set of criteria. You, my friend, do not get to dictate the growth patterns of Daisy, William or any of the others. Your role is to be the best you and leave the rest up to Nature. One does not demand flowers bloom. They must be nurtured, supported, and appreciated at each stage of their growth.”

Ok, I must confess. This didn’t actually happen and no, I don’t hear voices (at least not from my garden). But I wanted to illustrate an important point. Wouldn’t it be completely absurd if, in fact, nature behaved in such a childish and arrogant manner? We all know that everything in nature has a time and place and one cannot and must not force her to conform to our expectations.

Nature expects nothing. It does not demand, reprimand or threaten. Man, considered the highest form of life on the planet is the only one who violates this principle. When we impose demands on one another to be who we want them to be or do what we want when we want, we create misery and suffering for all.
Imagine, for a moment, what life would look like if we replaced our limited mindset with a more “natural” one and allowed one other to just be?

Visit www.PfeifferPowerSeminars.com (products page) to learn more about The Great Truth.