Interesting title huh? Are there people in your life that you wish you could “unmeet”? As we enter the first month of the new year it may be a great time to examine the relationships in your life. Let’s start with family.
Family is a separate category. We may have family members that we would never chose as friends and we may have to tip toe around these relationships. That being said there is no reason why your voice can’t be heard and your feelings expressed if there are things going on that bother you. Often times we can speak our truth in a gentle and loving way to get our point across. If the person still doesn’t get it than you can reinforce what you say with your actions. For instance, say you have a family member that likes to drop in on you without calling. Because you work out of the home this can be inconvenient and it disrupts your schedule. You kindly explain this and then the family member still shows up. You can deal with this by opening the door and say that although it is very nice to see them, now is not a good time for you and then do not let them in. It may be extremely awkward for you but the person will get the hint. Chances are good that it won’t happen again.
Friends and acquaintances are people you can take a good look at and decide if they are people you want to keep in your life. I feel a good friendship is one that is in balance and is not drama filled. When I talk about balance I like to use a teeter totter metaphor. I am not saying that balance is the point where the ride is totally level with no upward or downward movement. What I am talking about is that there are times when you are on the top giving to the person on the bottom and the reverse is true. The balance comes in when there are pretty equal times of giving and receiving. I know I have had people in my life that were great at taking. When they had problems I would patiently listen on the phone but when the reverse was true they never had the time to listen. Also they brought what I coined as dramarama into my life. Nothing was simple. Some of these people could have given Scarlett O’Hara a run for her money. Any suggestions I may have had that would help were disregarded and basically they were just looking for someone to vent to. I found it exhausting. At the same time I was meeting new people that were givers as well as takers. Little by little I embraced those relationships and let go of the others. Kindness is key and I never was mean spirited. I found that most of the time it was a natural drifting apart. If it was necessary and I was pressed I would say something like I feel we are on different paths in our lives and there are things I am going to explore that will limit my time. I will be in touch.
This week, 1/10 at 7:00 PM EST, 4:00 PM PST, on The Night Shift with Susan Dintino we are going to talk about relationships and when it may be time to “unmeet” some people in your life. Mini readings throughout the show!
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