The Spiritual Solution to Anger

I’ve spoken many times about the importance of all feelings, anger included. With every emotion we experience, we have the ability to learn much about ourselves. No feeling is inherently wrong. It’s how we choose to express and use them that determines their value.

In The Secret Side of Anger, I address the three root causes of anger and how to heal each of them. Not being a proponent of control, I have found that the best approach is to understand why a particular feeling has emerged, how to express it appropriately (if doing so is necessary at all) and ultimately to heal it so there are no residual effects left to cause further problems in the future. I provide very practical strategies to do so. However, one can also take a purely spiritual approach to healing anger as well. Let’s examine each of the root causes and the spiritual solution to each.

Hurt – people often say or do things that hurt us. Let me rephrase that: we allow ourselves to be hurt by the inconsiderate or rude behaviors of others. Anger, hurt, embarrassment – all feelings are a personal choice we make (albeit sometimes subconsciously). So how do we prevent the actions of others to cause us pain? We must understand that behavior is an external expression of an internal issue. People act out what they feel. Their behavior is never about us. So we must learn not to take personal offense to it. We can respond with understanding (that they are human, they make mistakes, they sometimes act out inappropriately). Be patient. What they are going through is a necessary part of their life’s journey. Do not judge but rather be kind and forgiving (and throw in a few boundaries for good measure).

Fear, the second root cause, is based on a lack of trust, primarily in God. From a purely spiritual perspective, learning to have faith in a loving God who always has our best interest at heart allows us to feel more at ease with our current circumstance. Conversation with God, otherwise known as prayer, alleviates anxiety and worry. So pray. Ask for guidance, strength, knowledge, wisdom, direction. God reassures us that if we ask we shall receive. Rather than pray for what we want to have happen, pray for the ability to endure it and emerge with greater awareness.

Frustration goes hand-in-hand with fear. It’s derived from the need to control. We want or expect things and people to be as we believe they should be. When what we are seeking is not forthcoming, we experience a sense of powerlessness – the very definition of anger. We’re all familiar with the expression “Let go, let God”. There is much wisdom in those four words. The Bible tells us that there is a time and a season for everything under Heaven. We were not meant to have everything work out according to our plans. Whatever enters our life is exactly what we are meant to experience. When things don’t work out it’s because they are not meant to. Perhaps, it would have not been in our best interest. Perhaps, God has something even greater waiting to manifest in our lives. Let go of the need to control. Allow life to unfold exactly as it is meant to. Allow others to be who they are, to learn and grow in their own time and in their own way as well.

All roads lead to God. When we fully understand and choose to live life from this perspective, we are at ease with whatever and whoever enters and/or leaves our lives. All is exactly as it is meant to be so be at peace.

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