How To Keep Your Cool When Nothing Is Going Right

We all have those days, weeks or even months were everything seems to be working against us. At times, it feels as though we must have a huge red bulls-eye painted on our head or a sign pinned to our back saying “kick me”. Hard as we try, nothing is going right. I’ve been having one of those months.

How easily we get frustrated, upset, and angry and want to just pack it all in and quit. Recently, I thought about calling my 88 year-old mom to ask if I could come home and be a little kid again. (She’s say “yes” if I asked.) But we can’t go back in time (and really, who’d want to?) so if would serve us well if we learned how to deal with those “kick me” days.

1. Whatever situation you’re in, remind yourself that “this too shall pass.” All events are transitory and will eventually give way to a new set of circumstances (although there is no guarantee they will be better).
2. Put everything into perspective. Most of what we get angry about it insignificant in the whole scheme of things. See the bigger picture.
3. Remember to breathe. Simple, but a deep breath really does help keep us calm.
4. Sip water. Staying hydrated also helps us to stay cool.
5. Only deal with the issue at hand. Do not concern yourself with other matters until they arrive. This can easily overwhelm you and create added stress.
6. Talk yourself calm. Self-talk – your internal voice – is the most powerful voice in your world. Keep it positive repeating calming statements such as “I am fine. This is not a big deal. I can figure it out.”
7. Use humor – it diffuses the situation and lightens the load. Years down the road, you’ll probably laugh about it anyway so why not do it now?
8. Create a plan of action: what can you do to make the situation better? Do it now.
9. If the situation will not change, decide how you will handle yourself within the context of the event and how you will allow it to effect you now and in the future.
10. Remind yourself that your issues are your issues. It is never permissible to take out your anger and frustration on another. Always treat others with kindness, dignity and respect.

Be pleased with who you are and become in the face of adversity.
Let it go. Put it to rest. Be grateful it is behind you. Then vow to use the same techniques the next time. (Oh, and there will be a next time, you can count on it!) Peace.
Listen to Anger 9-1-1 live, Wed. 11 am EST, www.Anger911.net.

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