According to Wikipedia personal boundaries are: “guidelines, rules or limits that a person creates to identify reasonable, safe and permissible ways for other people to behave towards them and how they will respond when someone passes those limits”. I think this is a good definition and just wondering how are your personal boundaries? At times we can all do a little work on this so let’s set up some guidelines that might help:
- You have a right a have personal boundaries and with this recognition opens the door to defining yourself and what is acceptable to you and what is not. How do you let others treat you? Do you set limits to what is acceptable and what is not? This is tied in to your self approval and self worth. If you don’t have healthy boundaries you tend to let others define you rather than defining yourself. To resolve this set clear boundaries for yourself and don’t be afraid to enforce them. For instance if you have repeatedly told someone that after 10 PM you don’t take phone calls unless it is an emergency and this person constantly comes up with some drama or another after that time be ready to enforce that rule, use caller ID and don’t take the call.
- The word NO is a complete sentence. When someone asks you to do something you can simply say no without have to defend your answer. If you tend to be someone who has a hard time saying no and than regretting your YES afterwards it may take some practice but it is well within your right to “Just Say No!”
- Other people’s needs are not more important than yours. When we give..give..give till it hurts it usually does. We have to remember to refill our energetic well and take care of our own needs so we will have what it takes to take care of other’s. Sometimes there are people in our lives who demand we take care of their needs before our own. If this is a constant, boundaries are essential. Personally I find these people to be full of drama and always believe what they need is more important than anything else. Learn to discern this behavior and act accordingly. If it is a friend frank commuication can help. With a family member set your limits in your mind and enforce them. Usually with these dramarama (a term I have coined) individuals no matter what you do it is not enough so keep that in mind when you get caught up in the people pleasing cycle.
- Trust yourself…Believe in yourself and know that when you do what is best for you, you are doing what is best for everyone in your life. You are here to enjoy your life and being a good helpful person is what we are taught to be. Of course that is what we all strive to be but putting yourself first is not selfish it is self loving and keeping healthy boundaries to protect yourself is the first step in a wonderful romance with YOU!
Tuesday, April 4 7:00 PM we will discuss this on The Night Shift with Susan Dintino. I will be doing mini readings as well.
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