At some time in life, most people feel as though they’ve been treated unfairly to the extent that they would consider themselves a victim. Certainly those who have been the target of a violent crime fall into that category according to society’s standards. Even those of lesser offenses can view themselves as the target of […]
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Category Archives: victim
Redefining Victimization – A New Approach
“I’m a victim of domestic violence.” That’s one phrase you’ll never hear emanating from my mouth. Even though I spent three years engaged to marry someone who verbally and physically abused me, I never once entertained the thought of myself as a victim. Perhaps it’s because I define a victim as one without power. True, […]
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How to Approach and Assist an Angry Person
We all encounter angry people in every walk of life. Some will confront them, others avoid them like the plague. There are times when either approach is acceptable. I do not like drama. However, I am concerned about others when they appear upset. And I am very knowledgeable as to how to help them. After […]
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THE NAIL IN THE FENCE
“The sharpest sword is a word spoken in wrath.” (The Buddha). A little boy, prone to anger, was told by his father, “Every time you’re angry, drive a nail in that wooden fence. When you’ve learned to control your anger, start removing them.” Six months later, the boy had removed every nail he had driven. […]
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10 Tips for Dealing With Difficult People
Difficult people – ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don’t, it’s a fact of life that they are all around us – in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others may […]
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Children of Divorce: The Angry Aftermath
Divorce is difficult for everyone. Even though children are resilient in many areas of life, divorce takes its toll on the youngest family members as well. While superficially they may appear to be fine, their internal struggles and turmoil are often hidden beneath an exterior of normalcy. Confusion, anger, hurt, frustration, fear, and anxiety are […]
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The Dangers of Tolerating or Accepting What You Can’t Change (and the Surprising Alternative)
Years ago, there was a major campaign in schools teaching children to tolerate the difference of others. It was an attempt to create a more comfortable and conducive environment for children of all cultures and ethnic backgrounds to coexist peacefully. I suppose some good came of it but still kids had difficulty being forced to […]
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Pet Peeves: The Things That Anger Us the Most
I frequently receive emails from people upset about something in their life that is not going according to their plans. They scrutinize the behaviors of others and complain because people are not doing what they are supposed to be doing according to their standards. Some of the most frequent complaints I hear are: Lying – […]
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Say What You Mean Without Being Mean
(Excerpt from BUILT TOUGH? ) I often meet people who refer to themselves as tough. My perception, at times, is quite the opposite: I see them as mean-spirited. What exactly does it mean to be tough? Ford Motor Company manufactures several size trucks. Their tag line is “Ford trucks, built tough”. In the auto industry, […]
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M & M’s: Motive and Method
People often ask me if they should say something to someone or make a particular life decision. My response to them is, “Why would you and how are you planning to?” Motive (intent) is a key factor in determining the validity of any decision. “No one likes my sister-in-law and I’m going to tell her.” […]
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