Monthly Archives: March 2019

January Jones-Step-Dads-Stacey J. Wheeler

After marrying a single mom, Stacey James Wheeler realized the parenting challenges were different than traditional marriages. The statistics showed the failure rate for stepdad marriages was quite a bit higher than traditional marriage. No one seemed to know exactly how much high. Wheeler went to work learning all he could about stepdad marriages and about the break up factors.
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“Why Do I Feel The Way I Do? People often believe that they are slaves to their emotions: “I hate feeling like this but I can’t help it.” Some are ashamed of their emotions and try to hide them; still others find some to be offensive, frightening or sinful. But the truth is that all feelings have purpose and value. They are essential messengers that provide us the opportunity to learn a lot about ourselves depending upon which ones enter our hearts. Let’s take a look at ten of the most frequently experienced feelings and what they may possibly reveal about us: 1. Stress: high expectations, trying to do too much, and a lack of balance in our lives can lead to dangerous levels of frustration and anxiety. Revelation: we may be overly concerned with what others think about us (our need to please) and/or measure our self-worth by how much we accomplish. A lack of balance between work and play may also indicate a lack of self-love since there is a disregard for one’s overall well-being. 2. Happiness: a lighthearted approach to life that enables one to put things into proper perspective; one who sees the best in others and in situations and doesn’t take things too seriously. Revelation: we learn what pleases us, brings us joy, and delights our senses. This is telling of an optimistic mindset and attitude. 3. Grief or Sadness: intense emotional suffering caused by loss, misfortune or disaster. Revelation: unveils what really matters to us. The depth of our grief often correlates with the degree of importance the person, possession, or experience has. 4. Embarrassment: feeling self-conscious or uncomfortable in a situation or with a particular person; concern with how others see us. Revelation: embarrassment reveals more about how we feel about ourselves than how others perceive us. Lack of self-love and acceptance means we need to address our issues of self-esteem and value; choose to judge one’s self less and be more at ease with who you are. 5. Guilt and Shame: closely interconnected, guilt is a sense of culpability for a real or imagined offense we’ve committed (an act or behavior). It reminds us of what our values are, what we believe to be right and wrong. Shame involves feelings of guilt, humiliation or disgrace stemming from feelings of self-loathing, incompetency, or a flawed sense of self. Revelation: while some believe guilt to be counter-productive, it actually monitors our actions and keeps us on a righteous path. By separating our behavior (actions) from our intrinsic self (worth) we can eliminate shame, thus fully loving ourselves (after all, we are children of God) while working on improving our behaviors. 6. Regret and Remorse: an attitude connected to guilt and shame, deeply rooted in feelings of repentance and sorrow, one tends to view certain choices or missed opportunities as mistakes, rather than vital stepping stones lining life’s path. Revelation: negativity, self-pity, and a defeatist attitude can trap us in an angry cycle of regret and remorse and prevent us from fully reaching our Divine potential. By reframing each experience as a necessary part of our spiritual journey we can embrace each and every individual, experience, loss, and hardship as the blessing they truly are. 7. Hurt: feelings of deep emotional pain brought about by the perception that others are deliberately disrespecting or devaluing us. Revelation: When we take personal offense to what others are saying or doing, when we feel targeted by their hurtful actions or words, there is a clear indication that our self-worth is dependent upon what others think or feel about us or by how they treat us. By recognizing our own value and understanding that their behavior merely expresses their deep unresolved issues, we can remain unaffected by their behavior and thus avoid being hurt. 8. Gratitude: the ability to appreciate everything; to find goodness, value, and beauty in others, in things, events, and even losses. Revelation: one who lives in gratitude requires very little in order to feel blessed; they possess a joyful spirit, an open heart, a positive attitude; they are lovers of life, and desire to be joyful. Gratitude is actually the precursor to joy. 9. Love: feelings of concern for the well-being of others; feelings of tenderness, warmth, a oneness with others; kindness of the heart; a reverence for all life; the ability to see God in all of His creations. Revelation: those who love have a belief that values all life; they recognizes their connectedness and oneness with their Source of Divine Love and have a strong desire to reflect God’s presence in the world. 10. Inner Peace: the ability to accept what is or what must be for a higher good; resisting the temptation to force something or someone to conform to one’s personal dictates; to release the need to control or change. Revelation: truly an expression of self-love as well as a reverence for all others; the willingness to fully embrace everything and everyone as is; the refusal to judge or manipulate but rather allow and appreciate; one who epitomizes ease and grace of living. It is imperative to embrace every emotion that stirs our hearts for they are messengers of the inner self. Honor them; spend time with them; decipher their meaning and revelation. Once acknowledged, gently release those that have fulfilled their purpose and replace them with those of a kinder nature which will better serve you in the present moment. Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://www.iheart.com/talk/show/53-Anger-911-Radio/ Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+

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Diffusing Family Tension I’ve spent over twenty years working with families as a spiritual life coach. Many of my clients divulge painful or embarrassing situations that their families are struggling with, believing there must be something wrong with them since other families they know appear so well adjusted. I assure them that even in the most seemingly normal families there are often veiled matters of concern. Dealing with tension and strife in our family units can present unique challenges. In our social environments we can more easily disengage or remove ourselves from problematic circumstances. But when your sister marries someone who defines the very essence of drama, exiting may not be a logical option. Is there a way families can reduce the amount to tension between them? While we may not be able to completely eliminate it, we most certainly can take measures to make family interactions more enjoyable. 1. Always be polite and cordial to every family member, even those you may not be particularly fond of. Avoid ignoring or showing favoritism as it can easily lead to hurt feelings, jealousy, and resentment. 2. In disagreements, refrain from using the terms right and wrong. Leave your ego out of all discussions and respect each person’s position. 3. Don’t second guess other people’s motives for what they are saying or doing. If you are uncertain, either give them the benefit of the doubt or ask questions to gain further clarity. 4. Avoid engaging in hot topics. If someone initiates a discussion known to evoke intense emotions, redirect the conversation to a more neutral issue. Likewise in regard to fuel-injected statements, those comments that are designed to anger the other person: “You Always…”, “I Never…”, “You have a problem!” “ANY” Words: Always, Never, and You can be toxic in conversations. Ban them from your vocabulary. 5. If you have an issue with a particular family member discuss it with them in private. Do not invite others into the conversation. Respect their privacy. Remember: too many cooks spoil the soup. Be respectful by refusing to gossip or speak unkindly about the individual with others as well. 6. Never interfere with the relationship between one family member and another. If you do not care for someone, at the very least be tolerant of others who still do. 7. Leave the past where it belongs. Do not dredge up old issues or reopen past wounds. Address current issues only. 8. If you find yourself becoming upset with someone, stop and discern what is really troubling you. Very often it has nothing to do with the other party. They may be triggering an unresolved issue within you that needs healing. 9. Whenever possible and appropriate, use humor as a way of diffusing tension. -appropriate being the optimum word. 10. In any situation, we have the option of being an instigator, participant, or healer of family tension. Always choose the latter. Be the voice of reason, the peacemaker, the example for others to follow. And if for some reason you cannot contribute to the well-being of your family then at the very least do not contaminate it further. Family members may not always cooperate with your efforts. But remember: you are not here for their approval, you are here to please God. In the words of St. Francis: “Lord make me an instrument of your peace.” Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://www.iheart.com/talk/show/53-Anger-911-Radio/ Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+

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